TORN

HATE DIS SITUATION!! well,seems like u will never ever contact me again, n u never ever want to pick-up my call(FCUK) n i bet u still dont even saved my numb in ur fon(dunno y)..but u gave me a very stupid reason y u dint saved my numb..(it just my habit,but i remb ur numb)..ya ya..once again, im not dat stupid lor..wateva~

dat doesnt really bother me much, but seriously im started to giving up on u slowly,(like i started to fall for u-slowly)....

here is a very suitable song 4 u... n i bet u know which song is dis..if only u read my blog then..ahaha

Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You dont seem to know,
dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I dont know him anymore
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
Thats whats going on,
nothings fine
Im torn

Im all out of faith,
this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late,
Im already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I dont care, I have no luck,
I dont miss it all that much
Theres just so many things that I cant touch,
Im torn

hepi belated burstday to masawo!!

we hv been planning everythg but seem so messed up..ahaha things turned out to be quite chaotic..smpai bebai la besday gurl..so, in order to cover up our mistake, we hv to run da plan B (actually xdak plan sgt pun) ahaha so,mcm2 crita la yg terjadi..aku bergado ngn **** la..mcm2 la..

but da worst part is da heavy rain..gosh~ ni la yg org slalu ckp, manusia hanya mampu merancang, tuhan yang menentukan..basah kuyup la aku n rakan2...kena la pulak tukar location of da suprise party..but wateva it is, everythg is smooth later on..simple but memorable day for everybody i hope..bestnya dpt suprised party!!

how i wish one day i can celebrate again my birthday cos since last 4 years, a birthday is just a day dat my age will be +1 in dat year..tu je la...wake up in the morning thinking bout wat will gonna happen next...everythg is still a blur~

he did it again

it's 3 am n my fon beeps, it's a message from sum1 dat i know since i was 19 or 18(cant recall), wit his cute attitude(as usual) replying my maulidur rasul msg dat i've sent to him early in the morning da day before.. whilst im busy doing my presentation bod, tension cari bod satu g x jumpa, my fren yg ada bod tuh aku kol x angkat pulak, aku buzz dia kt YM x reply jugak...(GERAMNYA!!!)...(ntah lepak umah spa ntah la~huh!) but dat not da thing dat is bothering me(even it really does bother me emotionally) ahaha..ok, get back to da real story..

he (S**i) asked me again bout how i feel towards him, AGAIN! usual question (do u think there r still sumwhere inside ur heart dat can belongs to me?cos i cant stop thinking of u each day~)... y r u so determine to get me back eventhough u know how much i've hurt u before this? ...im not sure..but i've to admit dat deep inside my heart dat i still adore u,like u n maybe luv u but rite now my heart is so messed up wit so many things in my mind dat i could never ever tell anybody but me...ya allah~ help me..... show me da rite way, da rite person, da rite decision to make...

AKU DARI ALOR STAR YANG CHANTEK BANGAT

no other words can describe how it feels to be in a very dazzling gorgeous hometown even for a day..ease my mind, body n soul by being wit my beloved family n 'anak-anak'..gosh, miss em alrdy!! at least, a part of me has recovered from a very hidden wound dat no body would ever see n know.......

BIG GURLS DUN CRY

im giving up to very guy dat i know (SERIUOSLY)..im tired of having a guy who just 'luv' to hangout wit me for a nite but dint LUV me forever... those hints dat Allah sent me really keep me stray from those creatures named 'MEN'... guys nowadays really after those 'MANJA-MANJA', GEDIK-GEDIK, OMEL-OMEL gurls who really know how to beg, to persuade, to 'INDU-INDU'(rindu)...dat kind of gurl is definitely not me!! im a rough, rude, arrogant, loud spoken gurl.. im a marching band gurl, not a prom queen.. i dunt even know what my dress size is, i dunt even know wat lipstick suits me best, i dun even know wat is foundation,i dun even know how to wear hot pants, i dun even know wat is it like to ting-tong wit frens in club, i dun even know how it feels to be in a club wit bunch of frens,i dun even know how to keep my hair still, n i dun even know myself!!!


wat i know is, i lurve having all those dirt n mud in my face due to hot exposure of sun during my site analysis, i just know wat drum is, i just know how it feels to be a drummer, i just know how lifted up heavy things, i just know to be in construction site dealing wit cement n sands, i just know wat sizes of column, beam, steel beam, wires, n all those hardware material, i just know to stay under the hot burning sun in the construction site, not staying in the air-cond wit nice fragrance on my body always... whos gonna like a gurl like me? a gurl dat doesnt looks like a gurl,doesnt act like a gurl, most importantly doesnt know how to show that she lurve,she cares sum1...

but no matter how sux my life could be, i will never let these tears fall down my face again, never again cos big gurls dun cry...

weirdos day!! (dedicated to iman)

alahai..cian kt bdk klas aku sorang neh..abeh pecah la cermin depan keta dia..im so sorry 4 u iman but i cant help myself from loughing out loud wit my other frens when watching u driving that car witout front mirror..ahahaha dpt natural ventilation tuh beb..hehe tp tuh la korang, terganggu waktu tido aku sbb g tolong korang..hehehe but da best part is aku lak lupa tutup boot blakang keta bila tgh drive!! bapak malu gila!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahahahaha sabo je la..seb bek la org x kenal aku pun..klu x,simpan muka dlm tool box la..hehe neway len kali drive lek lok la eh..aku pun kinda worried bout my car's mirror cos it's alrdy crack a bit..huhu hope everythg's fine till ever...

design extend smpai ari selasa depan..yihuu!!

dis design is killing me!!

dh lepas presentation therapeutic garden...tp....banyak lak cengkadak nak kena tmbah drawing!! detail, detail,detail..atoih la chek~ nk kna jd buruh binaan la pulak,susun bata sesiap la...huhuuhu ngn flu aku neh bla ntah nk lega, chop suey sunggoh la idup neh..all i wanted rite now is just having a nice uninterrupted SLEEP!!! huhuhuhu DIE~

hate dat i luv u...(alyaa nak mencari ketenangan)

yes..i'v started to fall 4 u slowly but surely..but i couldnt tell anybody n even..u... i cant tell u how much dis heart has started to open up for u..started to miss u dat much..i never thought sumtink so weird could happen rite here whenevr im wit u...sh*t.. i try to deny dis feeling but it keeps getting stronger each seconds and all i think rite now in my mind is U...sh*t sh*t SH*T... how can i tell u dat i want u to b wit me right here, right now..i want u to call me o at least text me..but u never did since dat nite...it's only me who keep on after u...so i hold myself back from calling or texting u cos i dun want to look so desperately n silly to hear ur voice....

u'v told me about ur 'resolution', being single for da next 3 years..only 1 thing i can conclude from ur words..u still cant 4get ur ex..dats for sure... ahaha so here i am again, ended up being alone n keeping all those stupid foolish feelings in my heart...hoping for miracle to happen to me cos i never know how to show my luv to sum1 dat i care....i just dunno how~

i want my family n anak-anak rite now~ pls ya allah....pls help me to get rid of those bullsh*t disgusting feelings...

Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

AKU RINDU ANAK-ANAK AKU~ HUUU

MISS THEM!!! (aku xdak gambo lain dh..ni ja yg ada) huhuhuh ni masa kecik2 g..skang dh besaq dh..waaaaaaaa rindunya!!!!!!!!!!

hepi thaipusam rakan-rakan

meh2 jom g batu cave..kita pakat-pakat bawak 'kavaddi'(ye ke eja cmtuh) pahtu kita panjat tangga btu cave yg beratus-ratus anak tangga tuh..kompem kurus punya la pahtu..hehe to all ya smbut thaipusam..selamat menyambut dengan selamat la ye! amma, vanekkam!(aku konpius ni hello ka pa ka)

finally berjaya post (hols+works)

eriq n fendy

eddie,me,eriq,fendy n nuha

da wireless is so freakingly slow cam siput 'tut'!!! i'v been trying to post this blog since like a decade ago? ahaha since last monday huhu yeay,went back from jb wit a big smile on my face~(wink*) wat is dat means? nothing..just things went so well n i managed to settle my thing in UTM..met old buddy whilst met new buddy...cool buddies! lurve hang out wit them..neway, thanx for all da help n blanja makan2 n tour2 d jb ya guys...da rezeki leh lepak ag skali together-gether...lalala... (heppi =)

OMG OMG OMG

tired tired tired = exhausted like hell!! huhuhu bundles of works in my KIV list..GOD!! site analysis, therapeutic garden design crit on thursday,professional practices project paper, keusahawanan topikal study summore and plus my mid sem exm tomoro nite..dint study a thing yet...OMG how am i supposed to do this..design t-shirt for poli shah alam also dint setel yet..sumbody pls help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Single, double, triple?

cant wait to go to jb..dunno why but sumhow rather i've to admit dat i miss him...it's been a while since da last time i saw him...actually da intention going to jb is not cos of him ler, wanna setel up my thesis (topikal study) there. tp, smbil menyelam minum air, eventhough air tuh masin..ahaha but dunno why, my feeling seems to fade away not to him only, but to any guy dat i know rite now to b honest. i just so enjoying myself to be single. No bluffing. it's true!! myb cos i get used of it dh kot. hmm.. my 'x' is begging for my attention again, not dat 'expired' one.. another one. how many 'x' i got? ahaha just 3 lor..ok la tuh, leh kira pkai jari ag... i just dunno how to react cos i dun wanna get into any kind of trouble or madness or sick sux feelings anymore. im so damn happy to be frensss wit everybody around me. btol la apa org slalu ckp, SINGLE IS SIMPLE, DOUBLE IS TROUBLE, TRIPLE?? IT's COMPLICATED~ ahaha

i know ur name, but i dont get ur number...YET~ ahaha

im so damn bored tonite...only searching for my thesis info..happen to be i'v to open up my university's website, to be precised, my faculty's web..then all if sudden, an idea of stalking appeared in my mind when i saw the link to list of 'Kakitangan'...ahahaha i searched for every jabatan in my faculty but fail at first then i open up at the 'Helpdesk' link.......... Tada~ ahahaha gotcha!!! now i know his name...lalalala epi epi ahahaha... aku gatal ke? lantak la..jnji aku epi..hehehe but i cant mentioned here wats his name...shh xleh clear sgt eh..nnt kantoi..kih kih kih xoxo